Monday, June 06, 2005

Depends on who?

How much control do I have over my own life?

Literally very little now. It feels totally unsafe , like hanging at the cliff without a rope, or a harness. It's a choice between jumping off the bungee and jumping off a cliff.Which one would you choose?

In receiving Christ, there is an invisible rope, and most often we do not see it. And then the Devil comes and says there is no rope, and we're all going towards damnation. How doomed can life be at this point?

I've never been in this state like what I am right now. Totally, totally unable to feel that control in my own hands, as if I'm falling into a deep pit , like walking in a dark tunnel ... is there no end to this? When will Light come again? When will I see the meaning to all this?

I'm praying harder than before.... Praying that God will see me through all this ... praying God will show His way, His will.

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